


Dumb Ranma Idea #8

by Kawaoneechan



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Cat Hoodie, F/F, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21525946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaoneechan/pseuds/Kawaoneechan
Summary: At this point I'm just throwing AUs at the wall and seeing what sticks. In this case, what if Ranma was born a girl and turns into a boy?
Relationships: Saotome Ranma & Tendou Akane, Saotome Ranma/Tendou Nabiki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	1. The Great Reversal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that what used to be chapter two, "A Matter of Honor" has been merged into this one.

Genma Saotome was not a happy camper.

That expression was somewhat more literal than usual — he was not particularly happy, and he had in fact broken up camp earlier that day. You see, Genma Saotome had a pretty good reason to not be happy. He had, years ago, made an agreement with his old friend Sōun Tendō, that his son would marry one of Tendō’s daughters.

At the time his wife had only just been three weeks pregnant, while Sōun already had two little daughters in his house. Though marrying his beloved Nodoka was one of his better choices, as was locking his old master in a cave with a lit bundle of dynamite, Genma Saotome was wrong quite often in his life. Presuming his unborn child was a boy was just one more notch on the belt of his mistakes.

It’s understandable then that Genma Saotome became somewhat depressed when his daughter was born. He couldn’t very well let his school join Tendō’s if they _both_ only had daughters, and he’d already heard the news about little Akane. At least little Ranma had a fierce interest in the martial arts. She was a tomboy through and through, it seemed at times. It was, in fact, his wife who suggested he take their daughter with him on a training journey, with her blessing, to make her the best martial artist he could manage. She reasoned that would take her husband’s mind off of his old friend’s school.

Nodoka Saotome was also not exactly the brightest bulb. Not as bad as her husband but hey, she married the guy. Willingly.

And so it was, several years later, that the Saotomes found themselves at the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyō.

When Genma reacted to what had happened to his daughter, by his own hand, by being happier than she’d ever seen him in her entire life, the guide could not disagree with the absolute beating she gave the damn panda.

* * *

“And that’s the jist of it, my daughters. He’ll be around with his son today, so one of you can marry and our schools can be joined,” Sōun Tendō wrapped up, explaining to his three daughters what the postcard he’d gotten earlier that day was all about.

“So what’s this Ranma like, Daddy? Is he cute?” Nabiki asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” Kasumi echoed in mild disbelief.

“I never met the guy!” Sōun laughed.

As his daughters each took this vague news each in their own way — Kasumi in bemusement, Nabiki in annoyance, and Akane just generally not well at all — there was a noise from the front gate.

“I just don’t see why ya gotta push this, old man,” a faint but boyish voice spoke in the distance. “Besides, don’t ya think you’d scare ‘em comin’ in lookin’ like that?”

“That must be Ranma,” Sōun happily exclaimed, then broke out in a sprint to meet the visitors. Nabiki managed to keep up even though she was wearing a nice formal kimono for the occasion, Kasumi following behind in an elegant quasi-run, and Akane lingered.

Indeed, there stood a tall (but not _too_ tall), handsome black-haired young man in what seemed to be a hoodie, the front open to reveal a Chinese silk shirt befitting a martial warrior in much the same ways the hoodie did not.

“You must be…”

“I’m Ranma Saotome. Sorry ‘bout this,” the youth introduced herself.

(“Oh my god he _is_ cute.” “Eugh, boys…”)

“Ah, it’s so good you came! But sorry about what, my boy?” Sōun asked, not noticing Ranma’s mild cringe. Ranma stopped to ponder for a second, then pointed at the giant mess of black and white fur behind her.

“For that. Say hi, Pops.”

To Sōun’s surprise, the panda bear produced a sign: _Hi, Sōun._

“Genma? Is that you? How are you a panda?!”

“It’s a long story that you’ll probably have a hard time believin’ without a kettle of hot water.”

“Well, please. Come in regardless,” Sōun offered.

* * *

When Sōun woke up from his fainting spell after watching the panda turn into his old friend, he figured it was about time they’d discuss what had been on his mind ever since that postcard came. Which of his daughters would be engaged to Ranma Saotome, to eventually marry him and join their schools.

His money was on Akane, because while Sōun Tendō was certainly a master of his art, he was not the sharpest crayon in the box by far. That dubious honor went to Nabiki, or perhaps Kasumi. It was probably a good thing then that Nabiki did all the household finances.

That Akane had stormed off in a huff halfway through the explanation she’d heard before anyway to work off her frustration at (potentially) having to marry some boy barely registered in his mind.

“Marry one of ‘em, Mr. Tendō?” Ranma spoke up. “I… I barely know ‘em! Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other a bit before talkin’ about somethin’ like _engagement and marriage_?”

Ranma felt rather horrible disguising the truth like she’d done, listening to the two fathers consider her words, shrugging and nodding in concession to the misleading point. She was only playing along with the idea because her father had almost _pleaded_ with him to do so, invoking duty and family honor. Now, Ranma knew Genma and honor had a troublesome relationship but she felt she could and _should_ do better. So she pulled the groveling man up from the street and agreed to play along. Sooner or later, though…

Of course, the rain basically forced the issue not even halfway down the street.

Before Ranma could decide her sense of honor had enough of the charade, Kasumi tapped her on the shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Would you like to take a bath before dinner?” Kasumi suggested. “You just came in from the rain, after all.”

So did Genma, but she wasn’t going to argue with Kasumi. There was something about her that said _do not argue with me_.

“I guess I should,” Ranma agreed, pulling a bit of her shirt off her (broad, flat) chest that was until then stuck to her from the rainwater.

A few minutes later, when Ranma was long gone towards the bathroom, Akane finally came back from the dojo, her hands covered in concrete dust and the rest of her in sweat. She nodded at her sisters in passing, then went straight on in the general direction of the bathroom.

“Ah, Akane?” Kasumi called out, “you might not want to… oh, she’s already gone.”

“This is gonna hurt,” Nabiki observed. “Maybe I should go after her, make sure she doesn’t…”

“Doesn’t kill him?”

“Yeah, that seems likely.”

* * *

“Ah, maaan… what should I do?” Ranma asked herself, looking at her fingers, slender yet hiding a strength you wouldn’t expect, and wisps of steam rising from the tips. “Ah well, they were gonna find out sooner or later anyway. After all, they already know ‘bout Pops. Might as well go out and face the music.”

The moment she got up from the bath and made to get out, the door slid open revealing Akane with only a towel to protect her modesty. The two girls spotted each other and held a mutual gaze for a few tense seconds, before Akane took a step back and closed the door again.

_Who’s that girl? She looks kinda like Ranma but that couldn’t… then again his dad turned into a panda. She couldn’t possibly be him, right? No, she could. Amazing as the panda thing is, if that’s Ranma then he barely changes at all when you stop and think about it. He’s still the same species and everything, he looks basically the same… he’s just a girl now. And if that was as hot as I think it was, and it takes cold water to change Mr. Saotome into a panda, that means…_

_Ranma’s not a boy?_

_…Wow, I’m actually kinda relieved._

“Hey sis, you look like you saw something shocking,” Nabiki said, snapping Akane out of her dazed thoughts and completely ignoring that her sister was naked and slumped against the wall.

“Yeah… I did,” Akane confirmed, staring blankly at or perhaps past her sister’s feet. “I guess… I guess there’s not gonna be an engagement after all.”

“Why, did the sight of him naked make you want to skip the formalities and find the nearest priest today?”

“Heh… no, no… I mean… We should probably leave,” Akane evaded as she grabbed the top part of her training gi and wore it like an impromptu bathrobe.

Moments after the sisters did so, Ranma emerged from the bathroom, put her clothes back on, and retraced her steps to the living room.

Everyone but Genma and to some degree Akane was surprised to find a short, shy girl in a somewhat loose Chinese silks, most of her red hair covered by her hoodie. For some reason, the hood had decorative cat ears on it. Cute, but nobody seemed to care too much about that.

“Hi… I’m Ranma Saotome. Sorry ‘bout all this.”

“Oh no, she’s cute,” Nabiki muttered in shock as she and her sisters laid their eyes on Ranma’s true form, sitting back down at the table.

Sōun broke out in tears at the sight. “Oh no, now the schools will never be joined!” he wailed, nearly transforming his old friend.

“Mr. Tendō? Please don’t cry,” Ranma interrupted. “I’ve had some time to think and ah… maybe they might.”

“But I have only daughters, and you’re not the son Genma promised.”

“It… It sounds a little weird, but I could _be_ a son, kinda?”

Sōun stared expectantly at the redhead, who gulped, took a deep breath, and pulled down her hoodie.

“Mr. Tendō… regardless of what you might think of Pops, he is… not the most honorable person around,” Ranma considered, trying not to be _too_ blunt about what she knew to be truth. “He’s done things during our journey that makes me wonder what he did before I was born.”

“Girl,” Genma growled warningly, but Ranma was on a roll and undeterred.

“Ever since I was old enough to know about honor, I’ve known Pops didn’t have much to spare, so I strived to be better. I believe that this agreement between you and Pops was made in good faith, especially considering how badly he took it when I was born a girl.”

The room was as thick with anticipation as it was silent, Ranma’s audience waiting to hear where she was going with this.

“For the sake of our schools… I’m willing to try an’ be a boy, an’ marry one of your daughters. I’ll admit all three of you are beautiful and I’d gladly date any of ya in better… _other_ circumstances,” Ranma spoke with a small sigh.

“I just have two simple requests,” she finished, holding up as many fingers. “One, I don’t have to _stay_ a boy all the time. Two, engagement’s fine but we ain’t gettin’ married ‘til we finish school.”

With that, Ranma stood and walked over to the dojo. “I’ll leave you girls to your side of this whole thing. This is a dojo and I haven’t had any proper exercise since I beat the truth outta Pops on the way here. If that’s a’ight with you, Mr. Tendō?”

“...Sure, sure. Help yourself, child,” Sōun agreed while still half shocked.

* * *

Some ten minutes later, Akane and Nabiki came into the dojo and watched the new girl go through a routine as if it was nothing, the cat hoodie discarded near the door revealing a pair of arms that looked soft at first glance but could probably bench press a ton. There was a raw power behind those movements belied only by a feminine grace that, were Akane more aware of her own relative skill, would easily put her to shame.

Another ten minutes later, she was done. Nabiki applauded as Akane looked on in awe.

“Impressive, Ranma-baby, very impressive,” Nabiki complimented.

“Thanks, I had a lotta training to get here and I ain’t done yet,” Ranma replied, sounding unintentionally boastful.

Akane walked up to her, completely unaware by now that she was still wearing only the top part of her outfit. “Do you want to spar a bit? We could get a good feel where we are then,” she offered.

Ranma smiled fondly at the offer. “That’d be great, thanks.”

Nabiki, still at the door, shrugged. “Right, right. I’ll just tell you what we came up with while you fight, no biggie…”

Akane took position facing Ranma and struck a ready pose, while Ranma just stood there all relaxed, with her hands behind her back and an unassuming smile on her face.

“You’re not getting ready?” Akane asked.

“I _am_ ready.”

“...whatever,” Akane dismissively scoffed, then launched herself at her opponent with a fierce yell.

Nabiki, meanwhile, circled around the fighters at what she knew to be a reasonably safe distance. “So we figured after your little coming out earlier—”

“Wait. When did I,” Ranma interrupted, only to herself be interrupted by her dodging Akane’s attacks, “come out?”

“You sorta-kinda said you’re into girls. So we figured Kasumi’s out, she’s straight as an arrow.”

“As far as we know,” Akane clarified just before she tried a low kick that Ranma hopped over.

“Right, right. And despite your little problem at school you’re not into girls, right li’l sis?”

“Right,” Akane confirmed, then turned her full attention back to Ranma. “Now stop dodging like that and _fight me!_ ”

“Ya sure you want that?”

In reply, Akane yelled and wound up for a kick to Ranma’s skull. Ranma in turn considered this move to be horribly telegraphed and whipped up her own leg to intercept. As the two girls stood there, their legs pushing against each other as if they hadn’t at all understood the rules of arm wrestling, Nabiki continued her explanation.

“So that leaves it to me, the bi one. I’ll be happy to accept you as my fiancé _and_ girlfriend, if that satisfies your sense of honor and our fathers’ agreement.”

“Yeah? Sounds good to me,” Ranma agreed. “I was kinda hoping it was you or Akane, myself.”

“What’s wrong with Kasumi?” Akane asked through the growing pain in her legs.

“I’m not sure. She seems nice and all, but not really what I’d look for in a partner?” Ranma tried to explain. “It’s hard to say, really.”

When she’d circled around to just behind Ranma, admiring the way neither girl was giving an inch with their legs locked, Nabiki stopped to notice something the other two seemed to either not have noticed or had plain forgotten about.

“Also, li’l sis?”

“Y… yeah?”

“How did you not feel a horrible draft every time you tried to kick Ranma-baby? Also, Ranma-baby? Good job not looking down all this time.”

Only then did Ranma in fact look down, breaking her concentration with a mild gasp. Akane shrieked as she whipped her leg down in a long-since futile attempt to protect her modesty, which in turn pulled Ranma’s leg right along. The red-haired girl ended up spinning as she fell to the floor, caught herself on one hand, and flipped right back up, landing crouched on her feet facing _decidedly_ away from Akane and not turning around until she heard her opponent run out of the room.

“Yeah,” Nabiki confirmed as she saw the blush on Ranma’s face, “you’re _definitely_ into girls.”

“I just spent like… most of my life with only Pops, okay?” Ranma argued. “I wasn’t prepared to see another girl’s…”

“Excuses, excuses, Ranma-baby. I’ll tell you one thing, though. School’s gonna be _fun_.”

“…wait, school?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A’ight, Kawa here! So, since nobody bothered to leave any comments on AO3 and several people _did_ on FFNet, and the latter doesn’t let me reply to them _in_ the comments section because it’s actually _reviews_ , let’s do a mailbox! I’ll just take a few of them what contain actual questions, guesses, or worries and address them in no particular order:
> 
> And yes, this is in fact the eight AU I have considered.
> 
> **Guest** : _Easier for a boy to knowingly hit on than the CANON Ranma-chan!_
> 
> Buddy, you mustn’t know me very well if you think I’mma _make_ it easier for them.
> 
> **The Keeper of Worlds** : _Raises questions of Neko-Ken, that hood does._
> 
> I already have something in mind to explain the cat hoodie.
> 
> **Compucles** : _It's not bad, but it plays things rather safely. I'd like to see an AU make more interesting twists than just switching Ranma's birth gender. This first chapter is also rather short._
> 
> Maybe it does, but then it’s only the first chapter and I glossed over the events at Jusenkyō to keep the details for later. And yeah, you’re definitely right about the length. For that reason, I’m considering to merge the first two chapters together and publish the third as the new second. Surely that won’t confuse anyone? But yeah, I checked how big the HTML for the combined first two chapters would be and compared it to my other works, so this somewhat above-average for me by now.
> 
> (Update: this is now a thing I did. Obviously.)
> 
> **Richard Ryley** had a _ton_ of things to say that I shan’t paste here. There’s one part though where I’ll refer to what I told Guest earlier: if you think I’d do Ranma/Ryoga or godforbid Ranma/Kuno, _you don’t know me very well_.
> 
> **Compucles** had more to say after the original chapter two came out: _By the way, there's a PM reply feature on the review page that you're supposed to use instead of mailboxes like this._
> 
> I then explained again the part at the start of this thing, about cross-posting and feature differences.
> 
> And that’s about it. Should there be enough material by next time, there’ll be another mailbox at the end of chapter 3 I mean 2, and that may include anything interesting from the AO3 comments section, since this is published on both sites simultaneously.
> 
> Kawa out.


	2. Thunderstruck

“I guess I gotta,” Ranma admitted as she eyed her fiancée and new friend. And she was certainly glad she could call Akane Tendō her friend. That girl was strong as heck, even if she wasn’t quite on Ranma’s level, and it wouldn’t do to get on her bad side. The latter could also be said of Nabiki. “I mean, with how little formal education Pops bothered to get me, I sometimes wonder how I’m not a dysfunctional wreck.”

“Who says you aren’t, Ranma-baby?” Nabiki teased. “Anyway, you can probably get away with not wearing a uniform to school for a day or two but…”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna bother with that, thanks,” Ranma scoffed. “I never liked ‘em much, and less so since I got the curse. I mean, imagine me in an outfit like that, right?” she said, indicating the school uniforms Akane and Nabiki both wore. “That’s fine, I guess? I’m more of a pants girl myself but that’s _fine_.”

Nabiki nodded in agreement.

“Okay, now add water.”

The two sisters looked at each other and tried not to laugh.

“So it’s either the boys uniform or _no_ uniform, thank you.”

Nabiki stopped to wipe a tear from her eye. “And apparently your dear father had you registered as a girl, in case you wondered. With how happy you told us he was about your curse I half expected him to register you as a boy.”

“I know, right?” Ranma agreed as she caught a book bag that was flung at her.

“Better get a move on or you’ll be late,” Kasumi reminded them as she handed over their lunches.

* * *

“Don’t feel too bad about it, li’l sis,” Nabiki cood. “I’m sure if Ranma-baby and you switched lanes, even she wouldn’t have dodged that.”

Ranma nodded as she looked at the lightly drenched girl running next to her. “It’s actually pretty likely from what I saw. It’s all timing, you can’t dodge a throw like that. And trust me, I’ve had plenty of practice dodging water outta nowhere.”

“I’ll bet, but I still got a ladle full of cold water to the side!” Akane groused, trailing droplets as she ran.

“I’m sure your daily little exercise will dry you right up, sis. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to before the bell.”

“Watch closely, Ranma,” Akane said. “You’re gonna love this.”

“Love wha—”

Nabiki was off like a shot. Nothing superhuman, but at least half again as fast as the three’d been running all along, which was admittedly a hair under Ranma’s own top speed. Which meant that Nabiki, at _least_ for the short distance left between there and the school they were running towards, could outrun Ranma. Clearly, Akane was not the only Tendō sister who worked out, even if it was in different ways.

“Holy fff…fish sticks,” the redhead squeaked out as she hid her blush under her hood, which was promptly ripped off of her head again by her uninterrupted run.

“Right? Don’t be too impressed, it’s just a sprint. At least she can ‘attend’ to those ‘things’ while seated,” Akane half-joked as she and Ranma approached the school. “Now… would you please not get involved in what’s next?”

“Umm, sure? What’s that?” Ranma asked as she saw Akane’s face fall from sisterly pride to a mask of pure anger.

“The reason…”

The gates of Furinkan High came into view, with a yard full of students, all male, most of them wearing sports gear.

“that I…”

“ _Akane Tendō’s coming!_ ” “ _Go! Go! Go!_ ” “ _Get ready, brothers!_ ”

“… _despise_ _MEN!_ ”

Like one big Granfaloon of hope, hormones and hockey sticks, the crowd fell upon Akane Tendō, crying out in equal parts ironic declarations of protection, aggression, and pain, while Ranma watched curiously from a perch on the school wall growing ever more impressed at the carnage the youngest sister wrought upon the horde.

As Akane stood and caught her breath when a new voice called out from behind a tree. Ranma spotted Nabiki looking down at the yard from her classroom, gesturing at her to get going, and hopped off the wall. As she walked past Akane, she caught the girl impatiently waiting for the new guy to finish whatever it was he was saying. Ranma had no idea what he was on about; it was something poetic but she’d missed a good half. She _did_ catch the last part though:

“Now, might you fight with me?”

Giving the strewn-about student bodies a quick second glance, Ranma nodded in mild amusement. “Man, you’re a popular one aren’t ya?”

“Stay out of this,” Akane warned, “or you’ll get hurt.”

“Why’s that? What’s going on here then?”

“You there, fiery-haired girl,” the new guy called out as he pointed the wooden sword he’d been brandishing at Ranma, “who might you be?”

“Ah? I—”

“But, is it not customary to give one’s own name first?”

“If you insist,” Ranma muttered in growing annoyance.

“Fine then. My name is Upperclassman Tatewaki Kunō, junior, group E. Captain of the kendo club, undefeated star of the highschool fencing world,” the new guy prattled on. “But my peers call me the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High.”

“The fuh?”

Meanwhile, a floor or two up, Nabiki and her closest friends and lackeys stood there looking out the window in mild confusion before deciding that their classmate was full of it.

“A’ight, a’ight. I’m Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome school of Indiscriminate Grappling, and I’m staying at the Tendō dojo.”

Kunō seemed shocked at the third part.

“Now, what’s your deal, tall dark and not as handsome as you might think?”

“Might I extend my challenge to you?” Kunō said after a moment of hesitation.

“Say no,” Akane whispered, then snuck away to get inside before the bell.

Ranma decided to trust her friend’s judgement. “Ah… no, no you might not,” she replied, then made to follow Akane inside. Which to the onlookers’ delight, meant going in a straight line towards the door, stepping over Kunō, who seemed to be shocked by Ranma’s refusal. To the onlookers, this seemed quite a feat considering Kunō was at least a head taller than the new girl.

* * *

Some time later, in Nabiki’s classroom, said girl was somewhat bummed that her love interest was placed in her sister’s class instead of her own, when her favorite annoyance approached her, the clear imprint of a shoe’s sole on his forehead. It was a pretty good print too, as Nabiki could just barely make out a web of cracks implying that Ranma had stretched her shoes to near-breaking when she turned male. _Something_ had to give, it seemed, and her shoes lost.

“Nabiki Tendō, if you continue to stare at my visage the commoners might start getting ideas.”

“Oh, that’d be horrible, Kuno-baby,” Nabiki agreed, making sure to positively drown the pet name in as much sarcasm as humanly possible. “I was actually looking at that footprint on your forehead.”

“Tis but a trifle that’ll wear away in time,” Kunō boasted. “But it _is_ the owner of the same foot that I wish to discuss with you.”

“Who, Ranma?” Nabiki confirmed, catching herself before she said “-baby” in a much more loving tone. Kunō didn’t need to know just yet.

“Saotome, whom I understand practices your sister and father’s art? What is he to the beauteous Akane?”

“Five thou,” Nabiki said unflinchingly. Kunō promptly reached into his pocket and pulled out the requested amount of crisp thousand-yen bills, slapping them onto Nabiki’s school desk. Nabiki in turn made a show of stashing the cash in Victoria’s secret compartment, because one of the only things that she liked more than swindling rich dicks out of their pocket money for near-useless info was seeing Kunō cringe.

“Okay, so it boils down to an agreement my father made with Ranma’s father, before Ranma was even born,” Nabiki started, considering how detailed and truthful to be as she went. “See, what Ranma practices is actually a different branch. It used to be _just_ Indiscriminate Grappling but then our fathers developed their own respective styles. I think to distance it from the grandmaster, I don’t think they liked him very much. So they agreed that Mr. Saotome’s son would marry one of my father’s daughters, and thus rejoin the schools. And then—hey!”

Right when she’d mentioned marriage, Kunō turned and ran out, shouting “I will not allow it!”

“…aw, fishsticks,” Nabiki sighed, borrowing her fiancé’s creative swear.

* * *

Ranma found herself well and truly bored in class. After the initial rush of excitement over the new girl and a bit of semi-reluctant posing and letting her new classmates touch her biceps, she’d retreated to her assigned seat next to Akane and spent the rest of the time wishing she’d been placed higher, in Biki’s class.

Of course, she didn’t know that this would her in Kunō’s class also but a girl can dream.

Anticipating it’d be a problem down the road, Ranma had already told the rest of the class about the curse and, unwilling to make a mess, settled for showing them a photograph that Nabiki had made the night before. She’d still need to discuss things with the PE teacher to work out a deal regarding locker rooms and showers, but that was a concern for later.

During a lull between classes, Ranma and Akane had discussed Kunō’s request of a challenge, which answered quite a few questions that had been slowly percolating in the shorter girl’s head.

“…and that’s why _apparently_ he thinks if you want to date a martial artist, you have to defeat them first,” Akane had explained, to Ranma’s shock. This pompous prick with a stick actually felt that way, and wanted to fight _her_ for the right to date him, even though he already pursued Akane? The thought alone made Ranma sick.

She was pulled out of her recollection by the sudden noise of the door being thrown open quite violently, revealing the target of Ranma’s ire.

“Fiery Saotome! Beauteous Akane Tendō!” the kendo captain cried out. “I shan’t allow this travesty to continue!”

“Bargin’ into another classroom, while class is in session?” Ranma asked, nearly overlapping the very same question from her irate teacher.

“Nay,” Kunō cried as he rushed towards the desks of Akane and Ranma. “This absolute _sham_ of a marriage forced ‘pon the both of you. Truly, the degeneracy of your fathers must be boundless, to force two fair maidens together in doomed matrimony, even for the sake of the noble arts!

“But fear not, my angels of battle,” Kunō continued, ignoring the blistering glare of the teacher and students alike as he embraced both girls, “for I, Tatewaki Kunō, age 17, will gladly save thee both from thine fathers’ machinations!”

“Yeah, how’s that?” Ranma asked, trying her hardest to think Kunō’s hand was where it was by coincidence alone.

“Verily… I must marry you both!”

The girls slowly stood up, still in Kunō’s embrace, and carried him towards the hallway.

“As such, my flame-haired tigress, I must ask again…”

“Hiroshi, open a window!” Ranma called out to one of the few friends she’d made during her introduction. Hiroshi was of course happy to follow a cute girl’s orders, especially if said girl could easily crush his skull between her thighs like a sparrow’s egg, yet he had to wonder the wisdom of throwing a person out the window from the third floor.

Then again, it was Kunō. He didn’t know the kendo club captain well, but Hiroshi was well aware that Kunō’s thick skull was not simply metaphorical. So he shrugged and compliantly opened the window right ahead.

“…will you accept my challenge?” Kunō finished just as his two love interests tossed him out, the most recent of the two jumping out right after.

“Let me make this clear, _upperclassman_. The engagement isn’t with Akane,” Ranma called out as she grabbed Kunō by the collar. “And I… Like… Girls!” she cried, punching Kunō in the face to punctuate each word.

Only then did she notice they were about to hit the swimming pool. _Oh well,_ Ranma thought to herself. _I guess it came up sooner rather than later._

“Idiot,” Akane muttered, looking at the impact from above, unaware that her sister was thinking much the same from her own window, but in the plural.

Now, Ranma had no intention to change forms. Gauging their position and projected point and time of impact, she quickly turned upright and fiercely stomped the half-dazed swordsman below her in the stomach, just off-center. Using Kunō as a springboard, she imparted some measure of sideways velocity that _should_ be enough to land on the ground next to the pool instead of in it.

Quickly, Ranma pulled up her hoodie and crouched down low, letting the splash of Kunō’s impact on the pool hit her back. When all she could hear behind her was her opponent scrabbling in the water trying to get out, she uncurled and pumped her fist in victory at having dodged a change.

“ _Yes!_ ”, Ranma crowed. “Screw all of this, I’m getting some ice cream to celebrate!”

As his new beloved skipped away into the distance, a sopping Kunō pondered his situation.

“Likes girls, she said? Surely, that is not an obstacle to one such as I…”


End file.
